Got alot of things to say b4 i came online and blog. Now.. feeling speechless.. guess i shldn't let too many people know my blog.. as its too depressing i know... can't help it.. bcos I am! How do pretend I am not??!! ...................

I m into total depressed mode... nothing can make me happy at the moment.. or forever? I dun know... I was born to be suffered in this world..Suffered from an unhappy childhood.. thot that when i grown up i will be happier.. i m wrong! there's more to come! But still won't lead to suicide dun worry.. bcos i know... my problem is only like a pea.. there's still so many many people suffering out there... more unfortunate than me... I shld feel fortunate already..

From the way i look at my state right now... i knew this year's christmas or birthday.. i'm gonna celebrate with myself again .. or dun celebrate at all.. I still got to sing Eason chan's Sheng Dan Jie this yr again.. "Merry merry Christmas~~ Lonely lonely Christmas~~~.... " oopsss too early liao... lantern festival haven't come yet -____-""

Ha.. Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday to myself in advance =


fallen blogged on 8/30/2004 11:07:00 PM

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I am already 23! I hate it!! I don't want knowledge, I don't want fame, all I wanted was a heart. A heart that will console and understand me. For this heart will give sympathy, and from sympathy results to love. Yes. All I needed is LOVE!

If only there's a girl who will understand my pain, I would willingly die for her.
If only there's a lady, regardless of pretty or ugly, who will love me whole heartedly, I would willingly die for her too.
All I wanted for is LOVE!!!

God, oh God, I don't want knowledge, nor fame, money is useless to me as well. If only You will grant me "Eve" from the Garden of Eden, let her body and soul be completely mine, I am very grateful towards You.

For I am like Adam, without one of his ribs, I can only be complete if only You will bring back my missing rib.

Translated from Chinese Essay, "Fallen into Depravity", 9 May 1921.


fallen blogged on 8/29/2004 04:47:00 PM

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Tired... tired of liking people ... tired of everything..... tired of myself.... saw my dream tat day aft lunch.. a guy was eating with her gf at a posh restaurant.. aft which he foot the bill.... it has always been my dream to bring my gf to posh restaurants and eat.. .better still to own a car and drive her around.. yeah... haiz but look at me now.... no $$$ no gf..... like a shit getting to nowhere.. forget it... i m TIRED! I dun wan to like anyone.. its too tiring.. I guess love is not for me... it never will.....


fallen blogged on 8/22/2004 11:39:00 PM

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arrgghh... i'm so bored... emotion very unstable the last few days.. =(
So empty.. helpless.. there's nothing i can do abt it haha.. suxzzzzzz!!!!!!
Haiz.... people out there....... hellooooo????? wat's wrong with u! And wat's wrong with me??? Everything seems to be wrong... everything aims to drive me to the dead end...!

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?


fallen blogged on 8/20/2004 12:08:00 PM

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I think the whole sg is out today.... it was so damn CROWDED at city hall today! where u go only can see people cannot see other things... regretted going out... hard to find food also.. fast foods and food court were all packed with people... =S But... not too bad lah.. get to see the fireworks at esplanade.. it was the first time in my life i get to see fireworks so mountain turtle hor....needless to say... esplanade and sg river there were also packed with people... got to make a "little" effort to squeeeeeeeze in.... and there was a concert organized by 933 i think... got kone.. toro.. wang xin ling.. and every young girl's idol 5566! but that doesn't include me hor.. 1stly i not young liao.. 2ndly .. i dun really like them.. my friend's friend went to see.. me not interested.. so juz rotted with the rest by the river.. feeling was good lah... a little pity that why it is not my gf (as if i have) there with me? haiz...

Long weekend is not long at all... feel that time flies too fast... so fast mon already... haiz.... didn't really quite enjoy myself yet =P


fallen blogged on 8/09/2004 01:33:00 AM

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Trying to finish up my assignment in school today.. still cannot finish!! haixzzz... all those people out there.. pls dun look down on my coz k.. who says that it is easy.. i having great difficulties now !

She asked me out today =D hehe.. she's really hoping to see me go back again.. erm.. dun know leh... its not possible anymore.. but one thing she said really touches my heart. She said that it really touches her heart that time when i approached her.. well.. it touches mine too! My tears were rolling in my eyes.. can see that its the same for her too. I can't love anyone.. I m fated to be a loner.


fallen blogged on 8/08/2004 12:36:00 AM

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Numb~~~ Immune~~~Feelingless~~~~watever u called it.. juz getting more n more disappointed with the world each day.. especially the people out there... totally suxxxx!!! hahaha..... well... i dun give a damn abt it OK? That's your business to be like this, that's your business to treat me this way...its not my fault.. i dun have to feel angry ... nah i'm not angry at all~~neither am i sad =[

Time flies, flowers withered, world changed, people aged, and WHO will LOVE me? The ans is NO ONE.


fallen blogged on 8/02/2004 12:31:00 AM

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